Alright, let's do this. I'm going to watch the first episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and give my honest opinion on it. I am going to put my doubts aside, forget that this is a show originally intended for little girls, and watch the entire thing. All I have to do is tell myself that if I go in with a positive attitude, I could actually really enjoy this show.
(This is where I read what I had just written, broke down on my knees and sobbed for half an hour)
Pre-Intro: So, we open with some book magically opening with the word "Once upon a time".
When something opens like that, you just know you're f***ed.
We learn about two princcess/unicorn/pegasus/pony sisters who just so happen to be the gods of the sun and moon or something, and the one that controls the moon gets angry that people seem to like daytime more than night so she gets into a fight with the one that controls the day, so she promptly banishes her in the moon in an extremely bizarre case of cruel and unusual punishment.
Please tell me that the one that controls the moon is the one we're supposed to root for...
The book is being read by our obvious-soon-to-be-named main character. She reads that the princess/unicorn/pegasus/pony sister thing that controlled the moon was deafeated by the... I'm just gonna say the other one, by using some shiny things called the "Elements of Harmony". Okay, sounds simple enough. She thinks that she's heard of the Elements of Harmony somewhere, but just can't remember exactly where. Then we cut to the intro.
Okay, that wasn't the best transition, but hey, it happens to the best of shows. I'll let it slide. Let's check out the intro.
"MY LITTLE PONY, MY LITTLE PONY!!!"
Okay, I muted the volume. Now, let's see what we're in for, audio-distraction-free. Okay... I see our obvious main character in a hot air balloon with some other small purple thing. Was that part of the earlier incarnations of this show? Oh well. So, we see our six main characters who we all have yet to learn the names of. Was the purple thing just on screen again, I looked away for a second. Oh well. So... we see a letter floating to and magically opening in front of some big white unicron/pegasus/pony, and- hey, wait a minute...
Well, I'm not that impressed yet, but hey, this is a show that's worshipped by 85% of the internet, so the good stuff will probably start soon.
It has to if people are seriously willing to overlook that intro song...
So, we see our obvious main character in the exact same position she was just in